Midnight
by IndigoFireFly
Summary: The Midnight Girl's battles with the evil Pem
1. Default Chapter

Midnight chapter 2  
  
TMG was enjoying a thick slab of toast with Marmite in her inner sanctum, when Alio came running in. 'Pem and Kim are on the move again!' she gasped. TMG was listening to Amen at full volume so it took several repetitions of the message before she understood what was going on. 'How do you know?' she exclaimed, pulling out a large bottle of black nail- varnish and unscrewing the top. 'Heidi-hi saw them, AND THEY WEREN'T DOING MATHS HOMEWORK! They were whispering and giggling, which normally means they're Plotting.' Alio sighed and flopped into a nearby beanbag, and TMG passed her a piece of toast. 'Hmm', she remarked, putting the last touches onto her thumbnail. 'Go up to Indigo and get the Gothycke army down here. We may not like them, but at least they're our allies'. Alio marched off to Indigo village and TMG sat in deep thought. 'Hmm,' she said to herself. 'If Pem tries to invade, she and her army will surely try to overpower us using their calculators. And no Midnightian would be seen dead in hipster jeans and green tops. We must attack them and beat them to death!'  
  
TMG went round all the rooms in the Living Dead, knocking on doors and asking them to fight in the battle. Nat the Twat offered Eminem sound- poisoning, and contributed 25,000 pairs of earplugs to TMG's army. Willieanor contributed corrosive bubbles with vampire teeth. Squibbet volunteered her boredom tactics of talking at great length about the relative merits of Germany; these lured the enemy into an enchanted sleep which rendered them so frail nobody had to feel guilty about killing them. Heidi-hi had her torture instruments from the Little Siblings Principal Torture Chamber. Alio had her hairclips with sharpened teeth especially for the purpose. And TMG herself had acid-soaked armwarmers and very sharp- tipped eyeliner pencils. The Kitchen staff had their 3,142nd brand of chocolate--poisoned chocolate. Other inhabitants had other weapons ready for use and each Midnightian was issued with an acid-soaked armwarmer for whacking the enemy with, so by the end of the day they had all the weapons they needed.  
  
At 7pm, the Gothycke army arrived, in their uniform of huge black jeans (useful for suffocating the enemy), fishnet bondage T-shirts, enormous boots (stampy stampy), silver clawed finger-tips and large chains for whacking the enemy with. After arranging some rooms in the living dead for the army, TMG retreated to bed feeling jolly damn pleased with herself.  
  
The next morning dawned grey and overcast. TMG woke all the Midnightians and Gothyckes at 6:00 am and the Kitchen staff supplied them with sizzling plates of bacon sandwiches and steaming mugs of hot chocolate. At 8:00 everybody assembled in the wilderness of he Midnight Place, glitter swirling around them like some bizarre snowstorm. Over the mounds of heaped- up silver powder, they saw the very first blob; a disgusting hybrid of gingery-red, green and blue. Pem. Kim, her moronic sidekick, stood by her side, giggling manically. Pem gave a short, mirthless laugh which sounded more like a bark. 'Been working hard I see, Midnight?' she said, casting her eyes disdainfully over the crowds of Midnightians in their regulation uniform of black cords, black t-shirts and rainbow armwarmers, and the Gothyckes who were all scuffing their boots and looking bored. 'Well, I see you've been trying to look cool again, Pem,' TMG retorted, glancing at Pem and taking in the pea-green, inordinately tight, 3/4- sleeved top, hipster jeans, school shoes and pounds of concealer which Pem had obviously taken a lot of time picking out.  
  
Pem's eyes narrowed. 'We just want to turn The.err.Midnight Place-' her lip curled contemptuously as she said this '-into a calculator plant. But seeing as you won't give us your land, we'll have to fight for it.' Kim giggled inanely again. Then without warning, she gestured to the inhabitants of Calculatorville who all stood behind her (dressed as their ruler was), who started running forwards at an alarming pace. 'FORWARD!' shouted TMG, and all the Midnightians and Gothyckes charged over the glitter mounds, uttering swear-words in various unsavoury languages as they came. Everything was happening at once. Midnightians were flapping their armwarmers everywhere, and the Gothyckes were waving chains. Pem was singing, Nat the Twat was playing all her Eminem CDs at once (the issued earplugs came into use here), Heidi-hi was using her thumbscrews on everything that came her way (many of the Gothyckes were nursing their hands), at least half the Calculettes (Pem's minions) were writhing on the ground from the Kitchen staffs' poisoned chocolate, and Willieanor's corrosive bubbles were really doing the trick; a lot of the Calculettes were now blinded.  
  
But what was this? TMG could see Squibbet quite clearly.she was squatted behind a mound of glitter, pulling on a green T-shirt. When she stood up, it was quite plain to everyone that she was now in favour of the Calculettes. She was now singing in close-part harmony with Pem, but one whack of Heidi-hi's super-blade, and her head was singing from its position on the floor.  
  
After two more hours of solid fighting, there were the exact same number of Midnightians and Gothyckes left as there were before the battle started (apart from Squibbet, if that counts), but only Kim and Pem still stood on the Calculette front. Without their band of followers, they were as vulnerable as newborn babies. Peering around them desperately for any Calculette who might still be standing, they looked at each other, turned on their heels and ran.  
  
A great cheer went up. 'What a bunch of twats!' shouted TMG. There was a roar of agreement. The Gothyckes were all given medals and trundled off back to their village, while the Midnightians retreated back to the Living Dead for more bacon sandwiches and hot chocolate. But they took Squibbet's head back. Just to remind them. 


	2. Midnight Chapter 2

Midnight chapter 2  
  
TMG was enjoying a thick slab of toast with Marmite in her inner sanctum, when Alio came running in. 'Pem and Kim are on the move again!' she gasped. TMG was listening to Amen at full volume so it took several repetitions of the message before she understood what was going on. 'How do you know?' she exclaimed, pulling out a large bottle of black nail- varnish and unscrewing the top. 'Heidi-hi saw them, AND THEY WEREN'T DOING MATHS HOMEWORK! They were whispering and giggling, which normally means they're Plotting.' Alio sighed and flopped into a nearby beanbag, and TMG passed her a piece of toast. 'Hmm', she remarked, putting the last touches onto her thumbnail. 'Go up to Indigo and get the Gothycke army down here. We may not like them, but at least they're our allies'. Alio marched off to Indigo village and TMG sat in deep thought. 'Hmm,' she said to herself. 'If Pem tries to invade, she and her army will surely try to overpower us using their calculators. And no Midnightian would be seen dead in hipster jeans and green tops. We must attack them and beat them to death!'  
  
TMG went round all the rooms in the Living Dead, knocking on doors and asking them to fight in the battle. Nat the Twat offered Eminem sound- poisoning, and contributed 25,000 pairs of earplugs to TMG's army. Willieanor contributed corrosive bubbles with vampire teeth. Squibbet volunteered her boredom tactics of talking at great length about the relative merits of Germany; these lured the enemy into an enchanted sleep which rendered them so frail nobody had to feel guilty about killing them. Heidi-hi had her torture instruments from the Little Siblings Principal Torture Chamber. Alio had her hairclips with sharpened teeth especially for the purpose. And TMG herself had acid-soaked armwarmers and very sharp- tipped eyeliner pencils. The Kitchen staff had their 3,142nd brand of chocolate--poisoned chocolate. Other inhabitants had other weapons ready for use and each Midnightian was issued with an acid-soaked armwarmer for whacking the enemy with, so by the end of the day they had all the weapons they needed.  
  
At 7pm, the Gothycke army arrived, in their uniform of huge black jeans (useful for suffocating the enemy), fishnet bondage T-shirts, enormous boots (stampy stampy), silver clawed finger-tips and large chains for whacking the enemy with. After arranging some rooms in the living dead for the army, TMG retreated to bed feeling jolly damn pleased with herself.  
  
The next morning dawned grey and overcast. TMG woke all the Midnightians and Gothyckes at 6:00 am and the Kitchen staff supplied them with sizzling plates of bacon sandwiches and steaming mugs of hot chocolate. At 8:00 everybody assembled in the wilderness of he Midnight Place, glitter swirling around them like some bizarre snowstorm. Over the mounds of heaped- up silver powder, they saw the very first blob; a disgusting hybrid of gingery-red, green and blue. Pem. Kim, her moronic sidekick, stood by her side, giggling manically. Pem gave a short, mirthless laugh which sounded more like a bark. 'Been working hard I see, Midnight?' she said, casting her eyes disdainfully over the crowds of Midnightians in their regulation uniform of black cords, black t-shirts and rainbow armwarmers, and the Gothyckes who were all scuffing their boots and looking bored. 'Well, I see you've been trying to look cool again, Pem,' TMG retorted, glancing at Pem and taking in the pea-green, inordinately tight, 3/4- sleeved top, hipster jeans, school shoes and pounds of concealer which Pem had obviously taken a lot of time picking out.  
  
Pem's eyes narrowed. 'We just want to turn The.err.Midnight Place-' her lip curled contemptuously as she said this '-into a calculator plant. But seeing as you won't give us your land, we'll have to fight for it.' Kim giggled inanely again. Then without warning, she gestured to the inhabitants of Calculatorville who all stood behind her (dressed as their ruler was), who started running forwards at an alarming pace. 'FORWARD!' shouted TMG, and all the Midnightians and Gothyckes charged over the glitter mounds, uttering swear-words in various unsavoury languages as they came. Everything was happening at once. Midnightians were flapping their armwarmers everywhere, and the Gothyckes were waving chains. Pem was singing, Nat the Twat was playing all her Eminem CDs at once (the issued earplugs came into use here), Heidi-hi was using her thumbscrews on everything that came her way (many of the Gothyckes were nursing their hands), at least half the Calculettes (Pem's minions) were writhing on the ground from the Kitchen staffs' poisoned chocolate, and Willieanor's corrosive bubbles were really doing the trick; a lot of the Calculettes were now blinded.  
  
But what was this? TMG could see Squibbet quite clearly.she was squatted behind a mound of glitter, pulling on a green T-shirt. When she stood up, it was quite plain to everyone that she was now in favour of the Calculettes. She was now singing in close-part harmony with Pem, but one whack of Heidi-hi's super-blade, and her head was singing from its position on the floor.  
  
After two more hours of solid fighting, there were the exact same number of Midnightians and Gothyckes left as there were before the battle started (apart from Squibbet, if that counts), but only Kim and Pem still stood on the Calculette front. Without their band of followers, they were as vulnerable as newborn babies. Peering around them desperately for any Calculette who might still be standing, they looked at each other, turned on their heels and ran.  
  
A great cheer went up. 'What a bunch of twats!' shouted TMG. There was a roar of agreement. The Gothyckes were all given medals and trundled off back to their village, while the Midnightians retreated back to the Living Dead for more bacon sandwiches and hot chocolate. But they took Squibbet's head back. Just to remind them. 


	3. Midnight Chapter 3

PRIMARY CHARACTERS: THE MIDNIGHT GIRL: Ruler of The Midnight Place. Very gothycke. Is an eyeliner fetishist.  
  
WILLIEANOR: The Midnight Girl's best friend. Also very gothycke. Runs The Bubble Shop.  
  
NAT THE TWAT: The Midnight Girl's other best friend. Runs The Eyeliner Place. Is obsessed with Eminem.  
  
PEM: The red-headed baddie. Forces people to wear hipster jeans and green tops. Has a twitch and is obsessed with Maths homework and aeroplanes. She must be destroyed.  
  
ALIO: Another best friend of TMG. Is very vain and spends most of her time shopping for pointy boots and re-styling her hair. Is v. good fun.  
  
HEIDI-HI: Yet another best friend. Is banned from listening to pop music. Is the primary torture chamber for little siblings assistant.  
  
AND..  
  
SCARYLIBRARYBISCUIT, SLB for short: A new character, obsessed with songs of music or revenge or sappiness- pop, rock, even Steps. Has an OK singing voice.  
  
The Midnight Street, chapter 3  
  
TMG was lounging around in her room with Alio, eating marmite toast and discussing glittery pendants, when Willieanor burst into TMG's room.  
  
"I was sitting in the bubble shop when I heard this awful noise- it sounds like some TLC songs!!!" she gasped.  
  
TMG sat straight up, a scowl crossing her face and setting off her purply- red streaked hair. Pop music was strictly forbidden in The Midnight Place and she was damned if she was going to relax this rule. "Do you think that Pem's behind this?" she asked in an icy voice that was so cold Willieanor fervently wished for her armwarmers. "I don't think so- they wouldn't be back so soon."  
  
TMG beckoned for everyone to follow her. Assembling themselves with TMG, all the other Living Dead residents waited for this nemesis. The chains and poisonous armwarmers were passed out.  
  
And so they waited for a full ten minutes when a small podgy girl swathed in black and reading a book on mythology and singing 'Unpretty' by TLC appeared.  
  
As she turned a page, TMG sent a death glare so severe at her that her mythology book burnt right through the middle. "HEY!!!!" exclaimed the girl. "You will pay for that!!" She lashed out with her boot and it caught Nat the Twat right on her forehead. She quietly suffered a brain haemorrhage and flopped to the ground.  
  
"Midnightians." growled TMG They leapt forwards and tied the girl up in chains. TMG unfurled a scrappy bit of paper on the back of an Amazon order. "Miss.what's your name?" "SLB-Scarylibrarybiscuit." "Miss SLB, I charge you with flaunting a rule that is most sacred here, the rule of no pop music and you will be put on trial. If you say anything, we will twist your words so it will seem that you are slagging us off. So ner." SLB glared at them and then started to sing: " This was an accident  
  
Not the kind where sirens sound-" She got no further as Willieanor engulfed her in a soundproofed bubble. At this moment, SLB was thinking: Oh shit.  
  
Ten minutes later, as SLB was quietly dozing in her sound-proofed bubble, singing softly in her sleep, TMG stepped inside and rapped her sharply on the head with one of her dauntingly long and pointy, black-varnished fingernails.  
"Hey!" SLB protested sleepily. But TMG wasn't going to listen to her protests.  
" You have broken our oldest, most sacred rule. The Midnight Place wouldn't have been created if it wasn't for me. I made the rules. I do not listen to excuses of why those rules have been broken. Why were you listening to TLC?"  
"I'm sorry!" SLB bristled, pulling her swishy black clothes tighter round her frame. "I've just been banished from InternetWorld for reading books instead of beta-reading-" TMG noticed the way she was clutching her burnt mythology book "-And this was the first place I found. I don't know any of the rules or anything, it's just a place to stay for the moment."  
TMG softened. It wasn't the poor girl's fault she had ended up here, and she'd obviously never been outside of InternetWorld, so no wonder she was feeling lost. But it still didn't mean she could listen to TLC.  
"You must realise," she said, "that if you are going to reside in The Midnight Place, pop music of all kinds is strictly forbidden. The penalty is the dreaded Tickle Torture." But when she saw the anguish on SLB's face, she said hurriedly, "But you can listen to it on your Walkman if you must."  
The look of relief which spread over SLB's face was so great that TMG thought that she was about to faint. She looked at TMG with a look of pure happiness and said, "And I am allowed to read real, old-fashioned books, aren't I?"  
"Of course you are!" said TMG. "And every room has a computer with a modem so you can do both." She handed SLB a sleek silver object about the size of a mobile phone, but with about ten times as many tiny buttons and a slightly larger screen. SLB blinked.  
"What is it?"  
"It's a CyberLibrary. Do you need any more explanation?"  
SLB peered at it, a smile forming on her lips. "Wow! And is this for me?"  
"Certainly is!"  
The smile now transformed into a fully-fledged grin, but then faded slightly. "What should I do though?"  
"About what?"  
"About the spotty girl I kicked in the head?"  
"Oh!" TMG laughed. "That was Nat The Twat. And it doesn't matter. I found out yesterday that she was in league with Pem and was plotting to assassinate me."  
"Pem? Who?" SLB's face twisted into incomprehension.  
"Pem is our arch nemesis. She wants to turn The Midnight Place into a calculator plant. They're always trying to fight for this place, and they always lose. And they never take the hint that they never ever get any closer to conquering this place."  
SLB giggled. "Sounds like a twat."  
"That's why Nat was in league with her. But now that Nat's dead you'll have to run The Eyeliner Place."  
"That's fine, I love eyeliner!"  
"Good. But remember. NO LISTENING OUT LOUD TO POP MUSIC! You must only listen to it on your Discman."  
"But I don't have a Discman!"  
TMG groaned. 


End file.
